It Turns On My Dentist to Step On Things

One day I was bored and I read every single page Wikipedia has about fetishes. Now all that information is knocking around in my head and I sometimes accidentally bust out with things like, “Did you know that some people have a ‘crush’ fetish and they like to watch people step on things?”

But now I decided I should have a fetish to spice up my interesting quotient. Except none of those things Wikipedia told me turn me on. At all. (Tentacles and getting strangled just aren’t my bag, weird.) But then I was with a Boy and he smoked a bong and, bam, fetish found. I have no idea why, but there is something so sexy about watching someone tilt their head back with their eyes closed all calm and relaxed and letting that smooth-looking smoke pour out of their mouth. Mmmmm. Or maybe it’s just because when I kiss him he tastes like delicious weed.

It kind of makes me wonder if anyone I know has a fetish. And I don’t mean something little and boring, like getting their hair pulled or something (because, let’s be real, everyone likes that). I mean something bizarre and Wiki-worthy. Like my Business professor or the dentist or my neighbor.

I guess if my professor is leaving class and a magazine called Whip-N’-Tickle Weekly falls out then the grand mystery will be solved.

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