All Guys Watch Porn

You know when you’re little, and you’re reading a storybook about a princess who gets swept off her feet by some handsome prince? And of course he’s perfect and he tells her she’s beautiful even when her princess hair is all tangled and he never forgets the anniversary of their kingdoms joining and he makes her scrambled dragon eggs every morning? (No? Obviously I read better fairy-tales than you.)

Yeah, well, Prince Charming totally has a stash of raunchy Serving Wench porn for those long lonely nights when his princess is busy weaving flowers together or whatever princesses do. Seriously. Serving Sluts 9. Joe White and the Seven Whores. Maybe even Goldicocks. (Obviously Prince Charming is really into fairy-tale-themed porn.)

Seriously, though, I have just learned that all guys watch porn. All of them. I mean, I figured a lot of them did, but I was like, “Hey, I’m a girl, and I know girls who watch porn, but I don’t, so….” Yeah, no. Apparently it’s even been scientifically proven. I stumbled across this little gem of knowledge while talking to the Guy, who said nonchalantly, “Yeah, no, all guys do it.” So I asked my friends, who agreed, mostly saying stuff like, “Yeah, my boyfriend does.”

Hrrrrnnnghhhh. I know a girl who dumped her boyfriend because he watched porn, and she considered it “visual cheating” or something. My policy is, if I’m dating someone who’s into porn, whatever. That’s their bag, and as long as they don’t start daydreaming about Tits McGee instead of me and, like, writing her fan letters, I’m good. Rubbing one out ’cause of boredom or as part of the daily routine, fine; actually emotionally getting into it or wanting to do anything more than watch Miss McGee on screen, go ahead, keep fucking yourself, because I won’t.

Besides, I might not be a porn star, but who cares, as long as I have sex like one.

Besides, I think most guys would rather see their girl doing a Happy Lingerie Dance for them than any random on-screen slut, so as long as their porn shit stays on the computer and far (far, far, far) away from love and life, then I say, fuck it. (HAHAHA see what I did there?)

(Although, for the ladies who are into it–I’m not, but to each their own–I am totes not judging if you watch porn with your guy. Seriously.

Sluts.)

Oh, don’t make that face, you know I love you!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ELLEN
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 07:22:02

    OLA VCS SAO LINDAS

    Reply

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