Coyotes and Angelina Jolie

Finals are in the process of frying my brain into a puddle of pink goo. Which will then leak out my ears very attractively, and probably ruin whatever shirt I’m wearing. But it’s okay, because my puddle-brain will be too addled to notice such things.

Long story short, I do not have the mental capacity to write with my normal brilliance and awesomeness. It’s a shame that the noggin that brought the internet such prolific posts is temporary out of commission, but…okay, fine, I’m going to write about the same random shit that I always do. Except that today I reserve the right to make absolutely no sense and ramble on even more than usual. Buckle your seat-belts; it’s about to get brain dead.

So. Two things that I love are coyotes and Angelina Jolie. What do those two things have to do with each other, you ask? Nothing.

This is a coyote who still has his summer fur in early winter. That is reason number one to love them–they change their clothes, just like adorable fuzzy little people. Also, they’re smart, and beautiful, and I feel like they’re just thinking interesting things while they’re bouncing around. Like, “Ooh, look, those humans are scaa-aared! Bitch, please. I’m going to Jack’s going-away party so he can scurry on over to California and east some good food. I don’t want your fat ass.” Or maybe, “I wonder why the sky is blue?” Or, “I am so much hotter than a wolf. Why is the phrase ‘wolf-whistle’? Have they seen me? Obviously it should be ‘coyote-whistle.'” Even if they would bite my face off I still want one for a pet. (Or a fox. But I’d rather have a coyote. Especially that one.)

This is Angelia Jolie. She’s not a coyote, as far as I know.

However, she is a really good actress (watch Girl, Interrupted. Just watch it. I dare you. And now I dared you, so if you don’t, you’re a chicken) and also really nice. She adopted like a kajillion babies and she works with the UN and she helps people, and also she was asked how she spends the money she makes yearly and she said, “Save one-third, live on one-third and give away one-third.” Even if you’re richie rich, giving away 33.3% of your income is super nice.

Plus, she does a great cat-eye. And I give mad props to anyone who wears the cat-eye, ’cause I love it.

And:

Brad Pitt. I know all these people think she stole him from Jenny Aniston, but come on. If you had to pick between the two of them, who would you choose? Besides, it obviously wasn’t meant to be with the Goldilocks couple, since the Jolie-Pitt duo has been together for a while. So. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, haters.

Seriously, this post makes no sense. But it has two solid things in it (coyotes! Angelina Jolie!) so maybe it only kind of sucks, instead of really really sucking?

No, it’s horrible. I’m sorry. If you made it all the way to the bottom of this post, you deserve a prize. So here it is…a hug from me, to the Internet! (This is the part where you wrap your arms around yourself. Enjoy.)

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