How to Have a Good St. Patty’s Day: the Recipe
- Slutty green clothes (1 pair)
- Alcohol (6 shots/3 mixed drinks; add more to taste)
- Loud bar with grindy dance music and strobe lights (1)
- Friends (any number; must be flavorful)
- Money (a lot)
- Put on slutty clothes with friends.
- Go to bar.
- Buy mixed drinks. Mix them liberally with friends and bar.
- Buy shots. Shake vigorously on the dance floor.
- Black out.
Seriously, it’s foolproof. Way easier than whipping up some souffle or whatever-the-fuck with Martha Stewart-level difficulty and weird foreign ingredients.