Gimme Your Purse…So I Can Photograph It

A while ago, I stumbled across this cool thing, where some smart (and really nosy) dude got strangers to empty out their purses and bags. And then he robbed them. Just kidding (or maybe not, I don’t know his life); he actually took portraits of the people and then portraits of the contents of their bags, all artistically.

It’s really awesome, but it’s obviously super fake. First of all, he picked the biggest hipsters he could possibly find; if you scroll through them all 100% of them are too hip to be square. Secondly, there is no way that people actually carry this shit in their bags. Look at this girl, for example:

Um, yeah. You don’t have any old napkins with phone numbers on them or crumpled-up receipts, but you have a pinwheel in the shape of a flower? And Love Letters of Great Women? Please. Okay, I mean, besides that pinwheel thing (what is that?), I guess the contents of her purse are realistic, in theory. What seems fake to me is a.) How new and sleek and pretty all of them are–e.g., the book doesn’t have crumpled corners the way books that I carry in my bags do, and b.) The fact that there is absolutley no random junk in there. Or maybe hipsters are just really neat?

Either way, even if it’s totally staged, it’s kind of cool, and it made me think of all the stuff I have in my purse. But I’m too lazy to dump it all out and take a picture with an old analog camera or something, so I’m just going to tell you.

The Contents of the WildHeart’s Purse (With Almost 100% Honesty!)

1.) Paper. Junky junky paper junk. Unlike these neat-ass people, I usually leave receipts and envelopes and other stuff in my purse. Currently, the paper includes a paycheck, a map of the Bronx Zoo, and some sheets torn out of a waitress’ ordering pad.

2.) My phone. Obviously.

3.) Sunglasses. Also obviously.

4.) Burt’s Bees lip gloss, three different kinds. I’m nothing if not loyal.

5.) Some pens. Not all of them work, but who cares.

6.) A bunch of lose jewelry and bobby pins, mostly earrings.

7.) My iPod Nano, in a cool tiny bag from Mexico.

8.) My money, in a tiny bag from the Icing that has held up surprisingly well considering it’s from…the Icing.

9.) A mirror shaped like Hello Kitty’s face, which was $1 and doesn’t work very well (it’s super dingy and kind of like a funhouse mirror).

10.) A little manicure kit.

11.) A miniature first-aid kit.

12.) Bath & Body Works blueberry hand sanitizer.

13.) A tiny figurine from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends that I got out of a fifty-cent machine.

14.) My Adventure Time wallet (a gift from the Dude), which doesn’t hold my money but all my IDs.

15.) Orbit cinnamon-flavored gum.

16.) Lipstick in a peachy pink.

17.) A Glock.

Haha, just kidding about the last one…or am I? You’ll never know, since I’m too lazy to photograph it.

Seriously, though, doing this is fun. The only non-fun part is realizing that you really, seriously need to clean your purse out–half because it’s full of junk, and half because if someone stops you on the street to take a picture of you and your purse, you want to look even better than these hipster bitches.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Your man-purse toting bff
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 23:49:25

    I decided to open up my purse as well, in honor of this, even though it’s really a drawstring bag. In it, I discovered:

    1.) My work schedule for the week. Six days again! Ugh.
    2.) A bag of Trader Joe’s dried orange-flavored cranberries.
    3.) My iPod, which looks like it’s been taken apart and hammered back together (because it has been).
    4.) Neil Gaiman’s American Gods.
    5.) A pamphlet for a grant I’m applying for to produce a board game, which I really need to work on filling out tomorrow.
    6.) My name tag for work.
    7.) A picture of you, because you’re so hot and awesome.

    Haha, just kidding about the last one…or am I? You’ll never know…


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