Hi, New Friends!

Nothing makes me more aroused than signing in to WordPress and seeing I have a bunch of new followers! Except guys with beards and Jake Gyllenhaal. (Also, how awkwardly icky is the word “aroused”? Don’t unfollow me just ’cause I used it.)

Anyway, welcome to the wonderful world of the WildHearts! Here on the blog you’ll find stuff. What stuff? I don’t really remember, I was probably drunk when I wrote it. (I wasn’t. Or was I?) Either way, thanks for reading it!

I wish I could post 38 gifs of me waving at you, my sexy readers, and giving you imaginary hugs, but a.) that would be creepy, b.) some of you might judge me for the insanely classy Barbie hoodie I’m wearing right now, and c.) since I’m such a little deviant, I have to keep my identity a secret. Like Batman! (Just kidding, he sucked at it…P.S., everybody knows, Bruce Wayne.)

So instead of repeatedly watching gifs to see my gorgeous face, you should comment on things! Yayyy! And ask questions–obviously I’m narcissistic, I have a blog. Don’t be shy, I like everyone, unless you’re a bitch/man-bitch! And even then, we’ll probably get along just fine.

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