Saturday Thoughts

Kevin Spacey looks like he rapes people. But in a kind of sexy way. Maybe.

I’m attracted to old guys. Like really attracted, and I don’t even have daddy issues. I dated my high school teacher after I graduated–I met him by grabbing a book he was reading at his desk out of his hands and going to read it, then bringing it back and making fun of him for a dirty poem about a mountain that was in it. When we got together like four years later, he admitted he wanted me as bad as I had wanted him the whole time. Lolita problems?

Whenever I lie facedown on my bed, I bounce my booty. Like I’m doing right now. It’s weird but I kind of hope it’s accidentally toning my butt or something.

I just watched the entire 2011 Victoria’s Secret fashion show and Nicki Minaj looked so fat and short compared to the models she was performing next to, and she looked kinda pissed about it. She’s also a really, really bad lipsyncer.

Chipmunks should be household pets! They’re cute and I wanna see one in a hamster rolly-ball.

I secretly dislike girls who don’t know how to wear makeup and think it’s funny. You are a LADY. Your looks are a part of life, which is short. Why not enjoy them? Plus it’s so dykey to be hold up a tube of mascara and whine, “Where does thiiiiiis go?”

I was just about to type that I’ve never had sex on a washing machine, and then realized I totally have–and some dryers, too. Funny how quickly you forget your exes.

And th-th-that’s all for my random Saturday thoughts, folks! Nope, not thinking anymore on this day!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sgmarinova
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 07:41:28

    I love how dirty this post is. Nice!

    Reply

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