She’s a Lady (Whoa-Oh-Oh)

I don’t like feminists. I don’t hate them–my own darling mother is one, for God’s sake–but I’m not really fond of them either. Mostly because the only thing they ever seem to talk about is how women should be treated exactly the same as men.

Um…excuse me? So no one will hold the door for me, and pull out my chair, and get me out of a ticket when I bat my very ladylike eyelashes, and not draft me into the Army? Why in God’s name would any woman give up being treated like a woman to be treated like a man?

Now, I understand that’s not the point, but on the other Manolo, it kind of is. If you want fair-square equality for everyone, that’s nice on paper, but that means everything has to be equal, even for door-holding and ticket-dodging. Equal pay at work and government-subsidized tampons, I’m all for. But saying women have to be like men in order to be “equal” is just what pisses me off about feminists. If you want to wear Birkenstocks and never get your eyebrows waxed, that’s just fine. But don’t tell me I’m setting back the cause of womankind by twenty years because I like makeup and a good heel (and put my feminine wiles to use).

Which brings me to my next point. Being a true lady is so undervalued in today’s society. Look at the French. Women there are chic, glamorous, and independent–they make paper (or whatever French money is printed on) in sexy cardigans with perfect hair. Here, if you like to take care of yourself–which means nothing compared to how the French do it, with their obsessive beauty regimes, or Japanese girls, who wear makeup and nice shoes every. single. day–you’re “high maintenance,” not “a lady.”

There is nothing wrong with wanting equal rights, or wearing ugly clothes and not caring how you look, but there’s also nothing wrong with being just the opposite. So how about a  little equality between the Birkenstocks and the Manolos, please? (OR, even better–I can just teleport back to the 1950s, when dressing up for everything was normal and everyone left me alone about equality while I drank Bellinis with Cary Grant.)


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. TBT
    Aug 25, 2012 @ 14:35:52

    I feel the same way!


  2. fiona
    Oct 29, 2012 @ 13:14:29

    I understand your feelings regarding feminism, or what you perceive to be the feminist agenda. However, as a feminist, I would like to throw this out there – I don’t believe that feminism means that we’d like every woman to dress in a “manly” fashion and burp every time they drink a beer. Men and women being equal does not mean that women should try to be more like men – that’s not equal! That’s conforming to men’s assumptions of what is “powerful” or “appropriate” or “right.” I would just like to be taken seriously for my opinions as opposed to what I look like on any given day. Why should it matter what I wear to work? Whether I’m wearing my kickass curve-enhancing black and white dress from Mango, or a button-down blouse with a sweater, the way I am treated and the way my ideas are regarded should not change. If men can be taken seriously regardless of the color of their ties, or not wearing a tie at all, I don’t see why my clothing should alter others’ perceptions about me.

    Feminism isn’t about making every woman feel “ugly” in the name of unity. No one is trying to eradicate femininity. We’re just trying to create a world in which everyone is respected, no matter what their choices. It’s about CHOICE, and mandating that all women must dress like men is not a choice. Getting annoyed by feminists allegedly barring you from being a “lady” is a bit of a straw man, in terms of attacking the feminist world view. And quite frankly, I’m happy to pay a speeding ticket if I’ve been caught speeding. Because I’m working to live in a world where I get paid equally, so I can afford to pay a ticket. Because of feminism.


    • thewildhearts
      Nov 28, 2012 @ 15:56:24

      100% on your level, girl–it’s a very specific subset of feminists I’m talking about. I am completely down with feminists who are completely down with women being the varied individuals we are. My issue is that feminist textbooks and professors and, yes, feminists, attack makeup, heels, and clothes or someone who uses their femininity as “setting back women” or being inherently sexist. Wear what you want, do what you want, believe what you want–but don’t tell ME I’m helping degrade the respect of my fellow gals because I like lipstick and heels.


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