I Feel Like a Sex Kitten

I just read some thing in a magazine that asked, “When do you feel most sexy?” And that got me to thinking.

Mostly, I was thinking that Cosmo is seriously going to run out of ideas soon, because there is only so much sex shit in the world unless they start dabbling into weird Japanese stuff. But then my brain stopped going on a little vacation and got back to thinking about the sexy thing.

I wish I had a cool answer, like, “I feel sexy all the time,” (I kind of do, as long as I’m not a total mess, but not really sexy) or, “With a fresh face right after I wake up!” But no. My own personal sexy aesthetic is Playboy bunny-meets-girl-next-door. Not that I’m saying I actually look like that, but if I want to put in some effort that is the result I’m going for. Think smokey eyes, pink glossy lips, and tousled sex hair. Clothes-wise, I am partial to a t-shirt and really, really short shorts. And probably knee socks, because I feel so cute in them and the Guy likes them.

Cute + sexy = Barbie makeup. Don't judge me.


Basically, I feel sexiest when I look like a weird hybrid of cute and slutty. And when I wear garter belts and thigh-highs, because it is fucking impossible not to feel like a sex kitten in those. Don’t shower for three days and chop off all your hair and throw some on and you’ll still feel gorgeous. (Okay, maybe don’t actually do that.)

Or maybe, I’m just a tart. There is always that option.

Either way, who really gives a fuck, I guess, as long as it makes you feel frisky? Unless your “I-feel-sexy” outfit is a dirty trashbag decorated with tinsel. And then you might have trouble getting some.


A List of Things

I write a lot about specific topics, and even though I manage to put in a lot of random rambling, sometimes I want the whole post to be me tipping over my head and pouring out my brain. So, here is a list of random thoughts from the scrambledy noggin of me, Wild Hearts.

  1. I am very lucky. I have been extra-extra happy lately, and I am super thankful. Is that corny as all get-out? Yes. (Also, was saying “corny as all get-out” corny? Yeah. But if I keep asking that it’s just gonna be an infinite circle of corniness and no one wants that.) But is it true? Also yes.
  2. I love everything made out of potatoes. Mmm.
  3. Sometimes, I take things too personally, or get bitchy over something stupid. I’m working on it, and so far, so good. (You catch more rabbits with honey. I don’t know if that’s true, but the point here is that honey is good and I really don’t want to catch any flies. And bunnies and honey are cute!)
  4. I feel 9,000 times sexier in a garter belt and thigh-highs. It is my Instant Sexy.
  5. I am superstitious. Some things I believe in: knocking on wood, salt being protective, almost any folk tale, and not messing around with mirrors. (Black cats, however, I love.)
  6. I will do abso-fucking-lutely anything to bounce on a trampoline.
  7. I think it would be really cool to have black hair for a day (I’m blonde). But just a day.
  8. My favorite kind of people are carefree and fun and funny and wild and spontaneous, but who can also be the best serious conversation you’ve ever had. I’m lucky enough to know a few.
  9. I wear a lot of blush because I like to always look like I’ve just been laughing. (Not like a tranny, I promise.)
  10. Pickles. SO GOOD.
  11. I have an intense, burning hatred for nostalgia. And for living in the past. It’s good to have good memories, but that’s all they are. Make new better ones instead.
  12. When I see cute dogs I want to kidnap them. Especially Great Pyrenees.
  13. I don’t trust people who don’t like the water.
  14. One of my favorite things in the whole-wide world is when you look at them and you can tell what they’re thinking through their eyes. (Unless it’s something bad, like, “I hate her stupid face.” And then you can just slap on a pair of sunglasses, thankyouverymuch.)
  15. I am really excellent at telling people how I feel about them if they say it first. I could date someone for five billion years but I will never, ever, ever say, “I love you,” before they do unless it’s an accident. But if they say it, no problemo.
  16. I like giving head.
  17. Drinks with sour mix in them are delicious. Are you drinking one right now? No? Then you should be.
  18. I can’t wait for my hair to get longer.
  19. This number is my birth-day!

That is a lot of random thoughts, but there you have it.

See? Instant Sexy, just add legs.