Life Should Be Sketchy

It would be cool if life was like a comic book. Everything is exciting, and nobody ever has bad skin, and your boyfriend turns out to be an awesome superhero who looks good in spandex. Just ask Mary Jane.

I mean, let’s look at the facts. She’s dating Peter Parker, who is smart and sexy in a nerdy sort of way, but whenever things get boring in the bedroom he can just tie her to the bed with some webby stuff. (Although, ew, that reminds me of this article I just read that said Spider-Man was all about puberty–his body’s changing, he’s confused, and, here’s the kicker, his body just starts making sticky white stuff for no reason! Whoa! Seriously, it kind of killed it for me.) Anyway. Besides how awesome her life is, good ol’ cartoon Mary Jane also is way prettier than anyone could ever be in real life. Case and point:

Yeeeah. No offense to Kirsten Dunst, but I think Peter Parker would rather get it on with the drawing. Because thanks to illustrator J. Scott Campbell, she also has perfect hair and really cool jeans. And a totally-not-realistic body, but why bother drawing a frumpy love interest, right? I haven’t found a lot of dudes with Spider-Man’s abs, but I’m not complaining (about the drawing, that is. I would really appreciate more real-life guys with a six-pack).

Long story short, I would be stoked if I woke up and everything was pencil-and-ink. Think of the possibilities! A pimple? Just erase it. Ugly clothes? Draw some better ones. No car? Doodle yourself up a sexy convertible. This is all getting a little Harold and the Purple Crayon, but I think it would be pretty sweet. (Mostly because I could totally draw jetpack shoes. And that would be cool.)