The 90s Are Back…With (Scrunchie) Vengeance

So, something horrifying is happening: I’m witnessing the first so-old-it’s-new-again fashion revival of my lifetime.

You know what I mean. Stuff from the 80s has come back in style (read: neon colors, those weird jackets everybody seemed to wear back then, cocaine), and stuff from the 70s (stacked bangle bracelets, resort wear, platform shoes), and obviously a lot of stuff from before then is just classic and will always look good (a hat tip to you, Brigitte Bardot).

And if you’re thinking, well, fuck you, I don’t see anyone walking around wearing neon jackets and platform shoes, you either need to make more fashionable friends or crack a magazine. Also, obviously, the stuff that’s in style now isn’t straight-up out-of-the-80s-can; it’s just stuff that’s clearly influenced by those wacky decades past. Case and point.

Kreayshawn is one 80s-ass bitch.

But all of that stuff is before I was born, for the most part, so I was like, phew! I won’t have to see people walking around in overalls and weird floral prints with giant scrunchies in their wet-styled hair! The 90s won’t come back in style for a looooong time!

I was wrong.

The above picture is from Miu Miu’s Fall/Winter 2011 campaign, and it doesn’t really get more 90s than that. Strong-ass eyebrows, an unflattering coral lipstick, a dress with embroidered flowers and a hint of veleteen-ness, frizz-waved hair, and of course, that quilted bag.

I mean, whatever, fashion is nothing if not cyclical, so I guess the 90s had to rear their ugly head sometime. And I am totally on board with crop-tops and high-waisted stuff. But I swear to Baby Jesus, if I see someone wearing butterfly clips, I’m going to personally rip every single one out of their head.